Anxious Man

He was a son growing up with

The memory of an addict father,

Looking for a father figure

In everyone he met.

Nobody stepping up for him,

Yet feeling guilty for

Not having what it takes to

Step up for his mother and sisters.

He was a student trying to learn

Without a teacher,

Looking for a mentor

Everywhere he went and

Nobody took him

Under their wing.

All he had were friends

Who looked up to him.

He was a man trying to be

A father to his daughters,

A husband to his wife,

Too scared to commit to anyone,

Not even himself.

Yet he fulfilled the duties of

The person that he thought,

He was supposed to be.

He was a human trying

To feel safe,

Yet running scared like a deer,

Trying his best

To not disappoint,

Yet not slowing down

To see for himself.

He was a king dethroned

Walking around looking for ways

To help the people,

In the country he loved

Who he thought was his.

He felt their pain,

So as to not have to feel his own.

He was a life full of pride at a distance,

Riddled with shame and anxiety up close.

His flaws unraveling

As he went through life,

Losing hope, yet holding on,

The strongest and the weakest man

I’ve ever known.